


Baby Steps

by duck_poot



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Highschool AU, M/M, asexual!Cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-08
Updated: 2013-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-26 01:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/959879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duck_poot/pseuds/duck_poot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean Winchester is back in high school, where he meets a dark haired boy named Castiel. The odd and haunting familiarity they find in each other doesn't help the fact that they may or may not be falling in love with each other... again. Not that they remember the first time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Castiel Novak

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at fanfic writing and I'm realizing just now that it's probably very terrible   
> I was going to delete it but I just can't bring myself to do so   
> Maybe I'll work on it later   
> Prepare for terrible characterization, forced interaction, rushed character development, and random switching between past and present tense

Sam and Dean Winchester had been fighting off some particularly powerful witches when something odd happened. The witches had Sam pinned against a wall, gasping for air, and in a desperate attempt to save his baby brother, Dean fell to his knees and threw his head back.   
“Cas? Now would probably be a good time to get your holy ass down here. We need it. Amen.”   
As soon as Dean spoke the word “amen”, he heard the distinct noise of a trench coat whooshing in the air behind him- a noise all too familiar to Dean, one that he had come to find comfort in.   
In one swift movement, Castiel had one hand around one a witch’s neck, the other one rising towards her forehead, ready to smite. But before he could do anything, another witch came from behind him and grabbed his head. Suddenly, Castiel was on the ground. Sam remained pinned to the wall, and Dean was just beginning to sneak up behind the third witch when she turned and knocked him down as well.   
“Don’t worry.” She sneered. “You’ll be seeing angel boy here much sooner than you think.”   
Dean was beginning to slip away, air escaping his lungs faster with each breath as the witch’s foot dug deeper and deeper into his throat. He could just barely hear Sam calling out to him. The witch turned towards Sam, who had escaped and now held one of them in a headlock.   
“See you on the other side, sweet cheeks.” Her voice sounded like it was coming to him from miles away, and slowly Dean’s vision grew darker, until the witch leaned over and grabbed his head, and Dean was gone.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Castiel Novak was nobody. He was born and had lived all 16 years of his life in (PLACE), and after his mother passed away during his birth. His father traveled for work, and he had been raised primarily by his brothers Michael and Gabriel. A straight A student, Castiel rarely left his house (save to go to the library), and was often a victim of bullying in school. Castiel had never really had any friends, and seemed to have trouble with the idea of a romantic relationship, due mostly to his new-found asexuality. He had no problem with the idea of being romantically involved with a girl, or perhaps even a boy, however he was terrified of the judgment he may face in admitting to them that no, he did not want sex, and yes, the very idea of it made him incredibly uncomfortable. So rather than face the obnoxious inquiries and comments of “But what if you want kids?” or “Come on buddy, it’s natural human impulse!” Castiel preferred to stay in his bedroom and keep to himself. ~  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
It was early Monday morning when Dean woke up to the harsh sound of the motel alarm clock next to his bed. He hit the snooze and groaned, swinging his legs off of the bed and stumbling over to his sleeping brother. He peered out the window, realizing by the absence of the impala that his father must have already left to take care of the vampire situation near a local bar.   
“Wake up Sammy.” He whispered gruffly as he shook Sam. “It’s time for school.”  
Sam moaned and opened his eyes, looking at Dean and frowning. “I hate new schools.”   
“I know you do buddy, but we have to. Come on.”   
The boys were ready and out the door within 10 minutes. The walk to their new school was quiet, both of them anxious and nervous to get there. They picked up their schedules at the front office and slunk regretfully to their classes. On his way to homeroom, Dean spotted a crowd of large boys laughing and shoving at what seemed to be a ragdoll in a sweater. Upon closer inspection, he noticed they were stuffing a small and scared dark-haired boy into a locker. Dean’s older-brother instinct kicked in and he ran towards the group of people.   
“What the hell are you guys doing?” He called.   
They sneered and whispered to each other as they saw Dean approaching.   
“What the hell do you want, pretty boy? Here to defend your boyfriend?” One of the boys mocked, as the rest high fived him for his seemingly “witty” comment. Dean rolled his eyes and stomped to the boy who had spoken, balling his fist threateningly in his shirt.   
“Leave him alone.” Dean growled.   
The boy rolled his eyes. “Or what?”   
Dean punched him in the face quite hard, and before anybody knew it, he had him in a tight headlock with a knee in his back. Another kid from the group responded by punching Dean’s nose, to which Dean reacted by taking the boy he was holding and knocking his head into the other’s. He pushed through the crowd and stood in front of Castiel, facing them. “Touch him one more time and you’ll have to answer to me.” Grumbling, the crowd disbanded until only Dean and Castiel were left. Dean turned to him.  
“You okay?” Dean’s voice was quiet. Castiel, who was still terrified, kept his gaze on the ground and shuffled his feet awkwardly, nodding.   
“I’m really sorry you have to deal with those assholes. You should try fighting back next time.”  
Castiel frowned. “I don’t like violence.”  
Dean shrugged. He wasn’t usually one to make friends, considering his family didn’t stay in one place for more than a month. But there was something about this kid, something hauntingly familiar, and Dean couldn’t shake it. He crouched slightly so that he was they were at eye level.   
“Do I know you?”  
Castiel looked up at Dean for the first time, and he found the green eyes staring back at him to be oddly comforting, as if this wasn’t the first time he’d been saved by this stranger. But Castiel had no friends, so that wasn’t possible.  
“No, I uh-I don’t think so.” Castiel answered nervously. The fact that this stranger was so good looking didn’t help Castiel’s usual anxiety upon meeting new people. The butterflies in his stomach seemed to have morphed from butterflies into rabid moths.  
“Hm.” Dean extended a hand in greeting and smiled at him. “Dean Winchester. I’m new to (PLACE).”   
Castiel took Dean’s hand and shook it. “Castiel Novak. I’m not.”   
Dean laughed and shoved his hands in his pockets. This Castiel kid was pretty cute, and the fact that this thought had just slipped into his mind about another boy kind of freaked Dean out.   
“You should show me around. I don’t have any friends here.”   
Castiel averted his eyes to the ground and replied quietly. “Yeah, me neither.”  
Dean frowned as he leaned against the locker and looked at Castiel.   
“Well, Cas. Can I call you that? You do now. Come with me to grab a burger after school, yeah?”  
Castiel looked back up at Dean and smiled gingerly. He wouldn’t usually accept the offer, but for some reason, he liked Dean.   
“Alright.”  
Dean grinned and slapped him on the back. “Awesome. Meet me here after school.” Just as he spoke, the bell rang and they said their goodbyes and began walking off in different directions.  
Eight classes and several anxious looks at the clock later, Castiel found himself waiting nervously at his locker for Dean. He was unsure of what to make of the situation- was he about to go on a date? What if this was all a trick, and Dean just wanted to get his hopes up, only to see his disappointed reaction and tease him? It wouldn’t be the first time.   
Tapping his foot rapidly on the ground, Castiel looked at his watch. Ten minutes, he told himself. He would wait ten more minutes and if Dean still hadn’t showed up, he would go home and never think about Dean again, no matter how comforting his gaze had been.   
Just then, Castiel spotted Dean across the hallway, who waved at him and walked over. Dean smiled and ruffled Castiel’s hair playfully. Castiel winced slightly at the touch.   
“You ready?” Dean asked.   
Castiel nodded as he opened his locker and threw in his books.   
“Alright.” Dean smiled. “Just let me tell my little brother I’m going out.”   
“Okay.” Castiel smiled back and waited patiently as Dean sprinted towards some kid in the hallway, spoke to him, and sprinted back.   
“Let’s go.”


	2. Asexual

Since Dean’s father currently had the impala, they boys were forced to walk to a nearby burger joint. They arrived within five minutes, and when they did, Dean held the door open for Castiel with a smile. They sat facing each other in a booth by the window, where they glanced awkwardly at each other through many silences, thanks mostly to Castiel’s lack of social skills.   
Dean often found himself gazing longingly into Castiel’s eyes, not able to shake the odd familiarity that came over him when he saw the deep shade of blue that they were. He realized he may actually have a crush on the boy, despite the fact that Dean wasn’t (or at least had never considered that he may be) gay. But familiarity and curiosity got the best of him, so he ventured into unexplored territory and decided to try his hand at flirting with the him.   
“Come here often?” He asked, half-jokingly.   
“Yes.” Replied Castiel, who had taken to holding his menu in front of his face to hide his blushing each time he caught himself gawking at how attractive Dean was. He peered over the menu. “My brother likes to bring me here on weekends.”   
“Mhm…” Dean nodded, leaning towards Castiel and trying to get a look at him, which was difficult considering Castiel’s current position. “What’s good?”   
Castiel answered immediately, still behind the menu.   
“Single bacon cheeseburger, extra ketchup, double onions, no pickles, side of fries.” He ducked under the menu again.   
Dean chuckled lightly at Castiel’s attempt at hiding. “You seem to know your order pretty well, why are you still looking at the menu? If you’re trying to hide, just thought I’d let you know I can practically feel you blushing from over here.” He tapped his foot gently on Castiel’s and smirked.   
Castiel froze at Dean’s touch- terrified and interested and enjoying it all at once. He blushed even darker than before and crouched lower behind his menu.   
“No uh-Um…I was just, you know. Looking at the…thing.” His voice was weak.   
“I’m sure you were, Cas.” Dean plucked up the courage to kick off his boot and run his foot up Castiel’s pant leg.   
Yelping quietly, Castiel jumped up several inches as his menu flew from his hand and landed on the ground.  
Dean laughed as he watched Castiel bend down awkwardly to pick up the menu.   
“You’re damn cute, you know.” He chuckled.   
Castiel blushed even deeper and bit his lip, not responding. He was still a bit awe-struck at how incredibly gorgeous Dean was, and flattered as hell that he seemed to be taking interest in Castiel.   
Dean frowned after quite a long awkward silence, filled with lusty glances from Dean and terrified stares from Castiel.   
“Come on Cas! Say something!”   
Dean once again shoved lightly at Castiel’s foot under the table, only this time, Castiel expected the contact and didn’t flinch- He stayed in his place and let Dean run his foot along his leg.   
“Uh…” Castiel tapped his fingers on the table nervously. “Hi.”  
“Hello.” Dean chuckled as he looked into Castiel’s eyes, still not able to shake the odd familiarity that lay within them. “Hey are you sure we haven’t met before?”  
“I don’t think so.” Castiel replied in a quiet voice. “As familiar as you seem to me, you’ve only been here in [PLACE] for a matter of days, and I have not once in my life gone very far out of [PLACE]”  
Dean shrugged as he spotted a waitress headed towards their table-he recognized her from one of his classes.   
She arrives at their table and removes the pen from behind her ear, cocking her narrow hip to the side as she gives a wide smile to Dean.   
“May I take your order?” Her voice is high and girly.  
Dean smiles gingerly and orders his food in a monotonous voice, before glancing at Cas, who orders quietly, never breaking his timid gaze from Dean. The waitress winks at Dean before slinking off to the kitchen.   
“Do they usually act like that around you?” Castiel’s voice is quiet, and he fiddles with his thumbs under the table.   
“Girls?” Dean raises an eyebrow in surprise. He’d barely noticed the waitresses’ behavior, having been to distracted by Castiel’s presence. “I guess. It used to be a good feeling, I think. But lately? Lately I uh…” He hesitates for a moment. “I seem to be too distracted to care.”   
“By what?” Castiel hopes he isn’t prying.   
Dean shrugs. “Doesn’t matter.” He looks around the room for a moment, trying desperately to think of a subject change, his mind falling back on something he had heard earlier in his psychology class. “Hey. Did you know the best way to tell things about someone is by interpreting their dreams? They say a lot about your subconscious.”   
Castiel cracks a small smile for the first time, and Dean’s heart practically jumps out of his chest with warmth. “Yeah?” He chews on his bottom lip for a moment before continuing. “Last night I dreamt I wasn’t human.”   
Dean chuckles. “Well what the hell were you?”   
“I was an angel.” Castiel responds. “I had these huge black wings, and I was powerful as hell. Also, for some reason I seemed to be wearing a trench coat. I was with two other guys, but I don’t really remember them well. One of them was really tall and we were all fighting something. It was really weird and realistic. Almost like it wasn’t a dream.”   
And with that, Dean and Castiel find themselves chatting and laughing as if they were old friends, Dean throwing in occasional flirtatious behavior and Castiel rolling his eyes. They even exchange phone numbers. They continue like this long after having finished their burgers, and Dean insists on walking Castiel home.   
The walk to his house is quiet . But it’s not an awkward quiet, like earlier at the restaurant. It’s a very pleasant sort of quiet, as Castiel beams up at the quickly darkening sky, mapping constellations in his head, and Dean stares fondly at Castiel, the odd sense of familiarity striking him once more. He eventually diminishes his internal “hetero-complex”, as Sam once put it, and decides that he really, really, really likes Cas, despite the fact that they’ve known each other for only a few hours.   
He walks close to Castiel and eventually finds it in himself to reach out for his hand, lacing their fingers together. Cas is hesitant at first, butterflies rising in his stomach and anxiety bubbling from within, but he soon feels comfortable enough to lean into Dean as they walk, smiling contently.   
When they reach Castiel’s house, it’s dark. As they exchange their goodbyes, Dean can’t stop himself from staring longingly at Castiel’s pink lips, thinking about how nicely they would meld with his. He takes a firm grasp on Castiel’s waist and plucks up the courage to kiss him.   
Castiel is well surprised at the kiss (it is, after all, his first kiss) and he’s even more surprised to find that he actually enjoys the warm feel of Dean’s lips on his. He places his hands on Dean’s shoulders and smiles against him.

However this pleasant feeling soon fades once he can feel Dean’s lips part against his own, and he can feel Dean’s tongue seeking entry into his mouth. Dean soon has him pressed against the wall and Castiel yelps quietly, finding it hard to breathe as the space between their bodies disappears and Dean’s hips grind onto Castiel’s. Cas can feel Dean’s erection pressed along his thigh between the layers of denim and it all becomes too much, and suddenly Castiel can feel the frustrated tears stinging in his eyes and he’s feebly trying to push Dean away, whimpering pathetically into his mouth.   
“I-I’m so sorry.” He manages to choke between anxious breaths. “I can’t do this, Dean. I can’t. I’m sorry.”   
And Castiel finds himself fumbling to turn the lock on his front door before pushing inside, missing the confused look on Dean’s face. He slumps against the door in the darkness of the front hallway, sobbing because he knew this would happen someday. He knew he should have said no when Dean asked him out, because then he wouldn’t be sitting in the dark and crying like some idiot and hating himself for being such a fucking prude. He wipes at the tears with the back of his sleeve as he forces himself to stand up, wondering what the hell is wrong with him and why he can’t just have some damn impulse like a normal teenager.   
That night, when Castiel is lying in his bed and sulking, his phone vibrates. 

From: Dean Winchester  
Hey, is everything alright? I’m sorry if I came on too strong. Really. 

 

Castiel sniffles and wipes at his nose as he reads the message and types out a blunt response. 

 

To: Dean Winchester  
It’s not your fault. I’m asexual. I don’t deal well with sexual contact. I’m sorry. 

He shoves his phone under his pillow and doesn’t expect a reply, because Dean probably doesn’t even know what that means and Castiel is just some stupid loser anyways. Yet not two minutes later, he finds that his cell phone is once again buzzing. 

 

From: Dean Winchester  
I can work with that.

 

Dean Winchester does not sleep one wink that night. He steals Sam’s laptop and curls up in a chair in a corner of their motel room, searching through every forum, article, and website about asexuality.


	3. let me make it up to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this such a short chapter! I plan on adding to it later =)

When Castiel’s alarm wakes him up that next morning, his eyes feel sore and puffy, and he himself feels empty and disappointed. He’s disappointed in Dean, for thinking he’d be such an easy fuck. He’s disappointed in himself, for not being said easy fuck. He scowls in the mirror when he notices how red his eyes are and makes a vain attempt at washing out the color with cold water, as if it were a mere stain on the surface.   
He’s surprised when he stumbles down the stairs tiredly and finds his older brother Gabriel sitting in the kitchen with a bowl of cereal.   
“Gabe?” Castiel’s voice comes out hoarser than expected; he frowns and coughs before trying again. “I thought you were up visiting Michael.” Castiel spoke in reference to his other older brother, who was well into his third year of university, only a three hour road trip from [PLACE].   
Gabe shrugs as he takes another large bite of cereal, chewing with his mouth open. “Dunno. Michal seemed more interested in fucking his new girlfriend nonstop than actually interacting with his brother.   
Wincing slightly at the image of his older brother’s relations with women, Castiel nods. “Oh. When did you even get home?”   
“Pretty late,” Gabe admits, a look of concern in his eye. “But early enough to hear you sobbing in your bedroom. Is everything alright, Castiel? Are you alright?”   
Castiel grits his teeth and averts his gaze to the floor, shuffling on his feet awkwardly. If there’s anything he hates in this world, it’s confrontation, and he had just had to be amply stupid to sob loudly enough to initiate just that. “I, uh…I’m fine,” He lies. “It’s nothing.”   
Gabriel sighs and stands up from his chair, moving to put an arm around his baby brother’s shoulder, who simply looks up and scowls at him for the cheesy gesture. “Do I gotta beat anybody up little bro?” He gives Castiel the cheekiest smile he can manage and runs his knuckles roughly through his brother’s scalp, earning him a quiet giggle and an elbow to the ribs.   
“Shut up Gabe, I’m gonna be late for school!” Not that he’s all that eager to go, considering he’ll probably run into Dean Winchester at some point, a conversation that he is most definitely hoping to avoid.   
He twists from his brother’s grip and grabs his schoolbag, shouting his goodbyes as he slams past the front door and begins his walk to school.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
“I’m partnering with some local hunter on the case, so you can take the impala if you want. Just be careful with her Dean, or I swear to God you’ll wish you were at the mercy of a damn demon.” John Winchester tosses the car keys to his eldest son as he opens the door to leave the motel room, before turning once more to add, “And stay outta trouble, boys.” He walks out and closes the door behind them, leaving Sam and Dean to finish their leftover pizza breakfast before heading out to climb into the beloved impala.   
Dean is tired from having stayed up so late, but he doesn’t regret having done the research he did. He thinks about the events from the previous night, mentally reprimanding himself for acting so forward, wondering why he suddenly felt so guilty. He’s ALWAYS acted this way on dates, and a girl didn’t want to go have sex with him, well fine, it was her loss. But what was different about this Cas kid? Why did Dean feel so compelled to pursue him even after he had explicitly proved that his intentions did not involve any sort of sexual relations…Hell, why had Dean even wanted to pursue him in the first place? It’s not like Dean even liked dudes. Yet he had sacrificed a full night’s sleep in order to understand him better, because for some reason…Dean cared. There was just something about Castiel, something about those big blue eyes and little tilts of the head when he was confused. An odd feeling of acquaintance that Dean just couldn’t shake off.   
As hard as Dean tries to distract himself from ideas of a dark haired boy swimming through his thoughts, he can’t help but pull over, much to Sam’s dismay (“But DEAN I have to get to class EARLY!”) when he spots Castiel walking to school, looking lonely as ever.   
“Hey, Cas!” Dean calls out the driver’s window, and Castiel turns to look at him. Dean notices his eyes look red and tired, but he mentions nothing. “Want a ride?”   
As much as Castiel wants to avoid all things Dean Winchester right now, he takes a look into Dean’s sincere green eyes and sighs, nodding shyly and climbing into the backseat.   
“Hello, Dean.” His voice is weak and unenthusiastic, though he wonders why Dean would even bother picking him up for a ride, still frustrated with himself for his lack of “normal” teenage impulse, and somehow under the impression that the rest of the world is too.   
Sam simply smiles and turns to introduce himself to Cas as Dean begins to drive once more, and Cas gives a sad attempt at a warm smile back at the boy, before slumping back down in his seat.   
The rest of the ride is quiet. Dean is thinking about how much Cas must hate him, Cas is thinking about how much he hates himself, and Sam is thinking about the obvious unresolved sexual tension between his brother and this new boy. This makes for awkward glances between Dean and Cas through the rearview mirror, Sam’s curious eyes watching them both.   
When they finally arrive at the parking lot of the school, Sam all but bolts out of the car, slamming the door behind him.   
Just as Cas is unbuckling his seatbelt, eager to finally leave Dean’s awkward presence, Dean takes a deep breath and speaks, eyes focused on the steering wheel.   
“Cas. Hold on.” He turns to Castiel, who has stopped his movement and is eyeing Dean in front of him, dreading the inevitable confrontation he’s about to face.   
“About last night.” Dean hesitates slightly, and he runs a tired hand through his hair. “I-I’m really sorry. That was really inappropriate of me.”   
Castiel frowns and cocks his head to the side, a gesture that sends a familiar burst of warmth through Dean’s blood. “There is no need for you to be sorry, Dean. It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”  
“No, no Cas.” Dean shakes his head, and sighs, because great, now Cas is blaming himself. “Cas just let me make it up to you, alright? Will you come with me for a coffee or something after school?”   
And as much as Castiel has promised himself that he will never speak to Dean Winchester again, never have the opportunity to make such a fool of himself in front of the boy, he simply finds himself nodding enthusiastically, small smile etched into his face.


End file.
